


You're Doing It Wrong

by Highlander_II



Series: None Goes His Way Alone [84]
Category: House M.D.
Genre: Community: 100_situations, Crime, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-12
Updated: 2009-05-12
Packaged: 2017-10-12 12:50:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/125005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>House gets a lesson in how to properly eat Oreo cookies. Post-S5, AU Timeline</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Doing It Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=100_situations)[100_situations](http://www.livejournal.com/users/100_situations/), based on the table in [this post](http://highlander-ii.dreamwidth.org/299704.html#cutid1).
> 
>  
> 
> I've maintained canon events through Season 5 with one exception – House never started seeing 'dead people' and did not end up in the asylum. That's where the divergence occurs and the 'AU timeline' begins.
> 
>  
> 
> All of these 100 ficlets were written starting in May of 2009 and finishing by June/July of that same year.

Sitting at the kitchen table at Cameron's place, he drags the package of Oreos closer to tear it open. He grabs a couple cookies and deposits them on the paper napkin in front of Gregory – age six. "Your mother and god-mother think my Oreo style is criminal, so this is a test of genetic theory. Whose Oreo genes did you inherit - mine or your mother's?" he asked the bright-eyed boy who was far more focused on _cookies!_ than on anything House was saying.

If anyone asked, he would deny it, but he loved the way both Cameron and Stacy ate Oreos. Stacy was a traditionalist and soaked hers in a big glass of milk until they were soggy, then let them dissolve on her tongue. While Cameron was more formulaic. She would take four Oreos, twist them apart, peel off the cream layer, then set it aside on one of the cookie layers. She repeated this process for all four - separating cream from cookie - then ate the cookie parts in dainty bites first. Then the cream layers were consumed - slowly, followed by that last piece of cookie. Sometimes she'd have milk, sometimes not, but the process was still the same.

Both women had told him – on more than one occasion – that his particular method of Oreo consumption was 'criminal.' He just tossed them into his mouth and crunched them into nothing.

Now it was time to find out how his offspring took to the best cookies in the country. He watched the boy with that same eagle-eyed precision he watched everything else.

Gregory slowly twisted the cookie apart and set its top cookie aside. House's face nearly fell, until the boy dragged his teeth over the bottom cookie, scraping the cream layer off first. Then he crunched half the cookie between his teeth, though House was sure he'd put the whole thing in at once had his mouth been big enough.

The kid had his own style and House could appreciate that. He stuffed a whole Oreo into his mouth, crunching away as Gregory frowned deeply at him. "What?" he asked around a mouthful of chocolate cookie-coated teeth.

"You're doing it wrong," Gregory insisted. "Watch." Then the kid proceeded to demonstrate his personal method of Oreo consumption.

With a smile, House relented to following the instructions of his lesson. He'd go back to his way when the kid left the room.


End file.
